OMG!

Picture this:

Suppose you’re God and you’re looking down on this world from your lofty perch, and you see that things have gone, well, to hell in a hand basket. Not only have the hordes of little people that populate the planet failed to learn the lesson to treat each other as they would like to be treated, but they’ve messed with Mama Earth and She’s having to resort to destructive measures to save her tush.

So, what would you do? You realize that you’re dealing with a planet full of know-it-alls, some of whom even think their gazillions of dollars will somehow save them from annihilation, and you realize that trying to TELL them anything is about as fruitful as telling a bunch of kindergarteners to put their heads on their desks and close their eyes for nap time. And you also realize that someone UP THERE (or even yourself!) invented a Rule that says you can’t infringe human free will—so even if you wanted to tell them what to do, you can’t!

So, what would you do? You’d get some clever guys like Mohammed and Krishna and the Buddha and Jesus to SHOW them how to live the good, clean, loving, caring, and not-so-obsessive life. Then you’d go work on your crossword puzzle for a few centuries while humanity makes an attempt to grow up.

Now, I’m not God. I’m probably not even big enough to be a cog on this great Wheel of Life, but I DO have a big New York mouth! And I can tell you that God is a smarty pants (maybe He’s from New York, too!) and He’s gone and done the biggest and best thing! And since I have such a big New York mouth, I’m gonna tell you what it is, because it’s the only thing that’s gonna get us out of this mess and He knows it. He’s brought in the really Big Kahuna. This really, really Big Kahuna has been standing in the wings for a while now, waiting for us to make a few right moves—evidence that we’re ready for change.

The thing is, we need the Big Kahuna to help us, because we’re not only bringing humanity to the brink, with nuclear weapons pointing at everyone, but we’re taking our blessed planet with us—the forests and the oceans and the BEES (for goodness sakes)! And I know all you global warming naysayers will finally get on the bandwagon when you realize the coffee groves in Brazil have dried up and your grande caramel macchiato is going bye-bye. Something BIG has to happen soon! And ya know what? It HAS. It’s actually THE BIGGEST THING IN 2000 YEARS! And it has happened because many of us who are not paralyzed by the fear of weapons of mass destruction or weather patterns of mass destruction are actually praying for help VERY LOUDLY. And here’s another Rule from UP THERE. God answers prayers! So God called up the Big Kahuna in answer to our prayers.

Enter: The Christ. Okay, hang on a sec. You in the back, stay in your seat. This Big Kahuna is not just any old Christ. He’s the same Mega-Love-Being that everyone is hoping to see on their front doorstep one day very soon—the same one who we all hope will tell us in no uncertain terms that everything is going to be OK. But everyone has a different name for this Big Kahuna. As I mentioned, some would know Him as the Christ returned, but others would know Him as Krishna returned, or the next Buddha, or the Imam Mahdi, and still others would know Him as the Messiah. Now, as you can see, He’s a seriously Big Kahuna. His personal name is Maitreya, and He prefers to be called, simply, a Teacher—hence the current, all-around-useful moniker, “The World Teacher.”

So, what can HE do? Especially if He can’t infringe our free will and tell us what to do!

He can be an EXAMPLE. And He can point the way out of our mess, like all the other Big Kahunas have done down through the ages. And even smaller kahunas do this. Many of them, all over the world, spend their days uplifting humanity in their various ways. But this World Teach has a HUGE job—I mean, there are 8 billion people in the world! Luckily, He has some HUGE TOOLS, the main one being that He’s connected with all of us through the HEART! He has stated that “every tremor of love that is felt in your heart is registered in mine.” Can you get your mind around that? I can’t! Nonetheless, there it is. A tool beyond imagining. He does God proud.

Since the heart thing equals the love thing, then it makes sense that this Big Kahuna, the World Teacher, would have as His main concern the feeding of the starving millions, since that’s what a loving person would do. So, it stands to reason that a major job of His would be to inspire us to learn to share the resources of the world so everybody can have their basic needs met. I’m down with that. That’s why I’ve been following this story for over thirty years.

I hear tell His other major concern is to teach us that we’re not just football players, or football watchers, or Wall Street tycoons, or hairdressers, or car salesmen, or car saleswomen, but we are actually souls in incarnation—aspects of the Divine. And in order to become aware of who we really are, all we have to do is practice three things:

1. We have to practice doing the things that we think and we say we’re going to do. This is called “Honesty of Mind.” In other words, no thinking one thing, saying something else, and doing still another thing.

2. We have to learn to be who we are and not follow other people. In other words, we should be ourselves, since everybody else is already taken. This is called “Sincerity of Spirit.”

3. We have to learn to chill—not get our underwear in a bunch over things we want or don’t want. This is called “Detachment” and is sure to take y’all on some interesting journeys!

By practicing these things, we little people, running all over the world as we do, begin to become more aware and more loving, and then we FEEL like taking care of each other, and the starving millions, and the forests and the oceans and the BEES (for goodness sakes)! And then we have a chance at saving ourselves and Mama Earth. Heart-felt inspiration from a great, great spiritual teacher Who teaches through example is how it’s done—how it’s possible to teach a class of 8 billion people.

Now, let’s put our heads down on our desks and close our eyes for a little nap.